120 Babies

If you asked me what “grosses me out”, without hesitation I would say eggshells, hard-boiled eggs, egg salad sandwiches. I have a real aversion to those ovals. And today didn’t help.

I got up for breakfast and decided to poach a couple eggs for myself. Things went kaflooey and the water boiled while the eggs were in the hot water which meant the yokes were cooked early. Being ignorant about eggs outside of the scrambled or omelette realm, I decided to pull them out and eat them.

It was one of the foulest experiences of my life. The egg white was undercooked and even as I write this I am squirming. I’ve been working all morning at getting that texture and flavour memory outta my head.

It’s just insult to injury, you know. The smell of egg salad and hard-boiled eggs makes me queasy. Eggshells just freak me out. I don’t really understand why — it’s that thin crunchiness I suppose. And, have you ever accidentally chewed a piece of shell? Again, I’m about to barf even considering it.

Damn you eggs. Why are you such great protein and so difficult for me? I have no hesitation in harvesting you little fuckers from chickens — in fact, I wish I could have my own coop. But you are also complex and disgusting when done wrong. And that happens way too much.